Opinion: Why small discussions count in a big city

In New York City there is a strange paradox: prosperous loneliness in one of the most densely populated cities in the country, a reality that has become only More apparently after the Covid-19 pandema. We crowd in subway cars with strangers, walk in large crowds and wait for long lines, however, many of us remain isolated. Our fast lifestyle makes it unusual for people to stop and start a conversation, which means it is difficult to make connections and set a social network. On the NYU urban campus, with the lack of a traditional quad from campus and students scattered in the city, the real connection requires more effort. The classes end, the students slip on the headphones and the city swallows us back in anonymity.

When I work like barista in a cafe, I remember how rare it was for someone to start the order with a simple, “Hi, how are you?” While these four words may seem unimportant, the little discussion made my Mundan routine more bearable and gave me the chance to connect with a few customers who usually rushed to start a conversation.

Even in a city where they could feel impossible to be alone, loneliness has become a national crisis. In 2023, the general American surgeon called the loneliness of the year “epidemic“Especially among young people between the ages of 15 and 24. Despite this fact, the little discussions receive a bad rap. New York are proud of their hyper-independence and rapid efficiency, uninterrupted by the idea of ​​small discussions and often coming out of their way to avoid it. Perhaps this is due to the fact that when you are alone and lacking in authentic connection, these pleasures – because of their superficial and sometimes insensitive nature – may seem like a mockery of the social connection they really want. But we are going to win a lot, inviting small discussions in our lives.

Little speech does not refer only to your weather or weekend plans. There are guests, although small, to create a connection with someone new. It turned out that small discussions with foreigners Improve -ne mental healthEven when he is with a knowledge or a stranger. In an experiment conducted in LondonThe commuters were told to talk to people who were sitting next to them, and those who hired themselves in a short conversation reported that they had a more pleasant walk. The same is true for cafes, where A study They discovered that the employers who stopped and interacted with the barista reported a more positive disposition than those who simply ordered and left.

So what prevents us from doing a conversation with a stranger? We often hesitate to do this because we believe that small discussions will be unwanted or seen as intrusive. However, research It suggests that we are wrong when we assume that our foreign connection attempts will be rejected and that people are generally more open to friendly interactions than we think. This research also shows that people who use public transport are more likely to report a positive shuttle experience if they interact with their colleagues. With holding, silence becomes a missed opportunity for both sides.

It is possible that our anxiety of talking to others because we forgot how to get involved with those around us. Although the isolation months caused by Covid-19 have long passed, the effect they had on our conversation skills still persist. To move away from a uncomfortable interactionAvoid asking a direct question at the beginning of a conversation. Instead, start giving a compliment or asserting an observation about your common environment, which is more likely to start a good social exchange than simple questions like “How are you?” which are often greeted with the answers to the mill.

The small discussion is a causal knot of our common desire for significant connection with others. It is the bases on which more significant social interactions are built. People like to ease vulnerability and feel comfortable with each other before sinking into deeper conversations. Even though small discussions can sometimes feel superficial, it still expresses an opening to a relationship and an authentic desire to connect and stay in good condition with another person. So next time you are in line at a cafe, sitting on a busy subway or studying at Bobst, take a chance and start a conversation. You don’t know what simple compliment or conversation could mean for them or for you.

The WSN opinion section strives to publish ideas that are worth discussing. The opinions presented in the opinion section are only the writer’s opinions.

Contact Claire Cordonier to (e -mail protected).