My 6-year-old asked me about death I told the truth

“Mommy, how do you look when you are dead?”

– Mommy, what do you see When you die?

These are just a few of the questions my children want to catch on. I always encourage curiosity and opening in our household, but when these questions are asked, as I put them in bed or when I sit on Loo, I rarely feel prepared with an appropriate answer.

Our family has experienced quite a lot A lot of deaths In recent years, both through sudden departures and by losing older people or sick people close to us.

My husband and I always tell our three boys – the biggest is eight, and the twins are six – the truth about what is happening; That they can ask us anything and it is normal to feel sad or angry.

But sometimes, when children ask questions in such a fact, it can be quite annoying, especially when you still process your own emotions.

Often, I will answer as soon as possible and then I will move on to another quick topic. I will always reassure them, but speaking long about what cremation usually feels like too much.

It seems that I have reached an age (40) in which life begins to feel more precarious, my parents and parents of my friends get sick and even people close to my age.

I feel that I am in a stage where I try my best to protect my three children from illness or danger, while bringing their questions about death -while also worried for everyone else.

I decided it is worth seeing what kind of support is there for those who face similar situations – so, in a sunny Thursday, February 2025, I decided to leave to a death cafeteria.

He was at my local library and was organized by Poppy’s Funerals, a funeral director based in London, as a welcoming space for people to talk about death.

I was intrigued, but nervous.

I’m a very emotional person. The guy who cannot retain tears when other people cry and end up with roadshow antiquities.

Before I arrived, I had no idea what kind of experiences or losses would talk about the other participants, so I didn’t know whether or not I would be a frightening mess.

Fortunately, the whole ethos of a Death café Is that it is a very friendly and informal place to stay and talk. About 15 of us took a hot drink and a piece of cake before sitting in a circle and presenting us.

Poppy Mardall, who founded Poppy funerals, took over the lead and explained that it was a safe place to share your thoughts and experiences, but if you just wanted to stay and listen and that was fine.

She explained that Death Cafés was founded by Jon Underwood, who believed that “speaking about death improves the quality of your finished life.” Since then, the conversation flowed freely and naturally.

I was worried that it would be a morning to hear depressing stories about death and disease. Before I went, I told my husband how worried I am that I will not have the emotional power to listen to the loss of foreigners.

What actually happened was that we spent about two hours with different ages and average people who were kind, empathetic and honest about death, Their death and fears Or hope when they happen to them or their loved ones.

It wasn’t sad. He felt uplifting and positive and I felt quiet that everyone lives with fear of what is in front -but life is to live.

Some of the participants experienced very recent tragedies and wanted to share their experiences with others. At this moment I tried to hold tears, but it also made me realize that talking openly about the pain of loss is healthy.

There were also easier moments, such as when an older woman revealed that she updating her funeral preferences so often that her family is now expecting to be at the top of the agenda when they all meet.

One week after I went to the Cafe of death, my son found a service order from a funeral that my husband was recently. He started asking me about it, while I was doing the boys for the holiday camp.

This time, instead of answering only vaguely and trying to end the conversation quickly, I stopped everything I did to listen to his questions and answer as honestly as possible.

I asked him how he feels and if he still has questions and I had a big hug.

It felt much easier than from the previous times, these moments took place -because the death cafe made me realize that if I could feel comfortable talking about death with a group of foreigners in a library, then I can be opened with my family about how sad and unfair it can be without being.

If we do not tell the children the truth about death, their imaginations will create much more frightening images.

As parents, we are the adults they are going to when they are restless, but we also want to protect our children and show them that life is precious and we have to have fun and live it to the maximum.

Death is the only thing that unites us all and, while yes, it can be awful and devastating, talking about it can help life feel a little easier.

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