We made shopping over 1,000 pounds of food in a year, despite the fact that we could afford them

Samantha Donnelly*, 37, is the IT worker in northern London. She lives with her husband, also 37 years old, and with their two young Erica daughters. Here he shares how he became dependent on the shopping thrill.

The first time I shopped, I was barely realized. Scanning my food at self-control, a large bag of diapers-about 25 pounds was hung over Gabriella’s Buggy handles and I forgot to include them in the invoice.

When I approached the exit, most people will recognize that moment that stops the heart when you realize that you had a close shave. And most people – including me to return to checkout and pay.

But that 2022 day, something was different. A deep instinct in me told me to continue to walk.

That’s how I did. And no one said anything.

I felt an emotion that I don’t remember for a long time. Of course, I knew it was wrong. I had never done something similar before, even as a teenager.

That night, I confessed to my husband Brian: “I left the store without paying for diapers and I only realized when I got halfway. I feel so awful.”

Brian assured me that he was just “one of those things that anyone could do” and don’t fight for it.

The first Fior

However, that night, I just slept. Was it just a “unique”? I put it behind my mind.

But, a few weeks later, I was scanning another food stroller and then – very conscious – I decided I would not scan a basket I buy. It was only about 10 pounds, I could easily afford, but I didn’t look for financial win, I was trying to repeat the first thrill.

As you rotate my stroller to the car, I waited to see if I was caught. My rhythm rushed, my pulse flows again. But nothing happened.

That night I didn’t say a word to Brian. I was deliberately stolen and escaped it again. I was doing something naughty and impulsive and totally against the rules.

Looking back – and after a lot of therapy – this emotional about violating the “rules” returns to my experience in locking.

Before 2020, I was very pleased with my life. I would give up the job as a primary school teacher when I became pregnant with Gabriella, but then we were immersed and life has changed for us all.

Becoming a habit

I became obsessed with the rules of the government about Covid. I would watch the TV for hours, focusing on deaths and what rules were in force. My hormones were everywhere and I felt flat and miserable.

This is why, when I felt the first ant “something when I first stole those diapers, it was like a drug. Since then, when my mood was low, I would steal items two or three times a week.

And I wasn’t just myself. Figures recently published by National Statistics Office (ON) revealed the shopping offenses reported by the police in England, and Wales have increased by 29% to over 492,000 in the 12 months until September 2024. This is the highest digit since registration practices in 2003 – and these are only the reported figures.

I have never taken high quality objects, without alcohol, meat or even coffee. It has always been “just” a bottle of milk, a pack of packaging, a salad bag. Something has slipped among the rest, so I can make an excuse about “forgetting” or “missing” the self-help if I got caught.

During the year, I stole much over 1,000 pounds, but only from large stores, where I could mix places that could take “hit”, rather than small shops.

Being caught

But on a day in 2023, I did something I never did and stole a whole carriage of goods worth 70 pounds when I felt very low. There is no excuse.

A few seconds after leaving the store, a male voice said: “Excuse me, I can pull you to one side” and I knew this was my chance to come clean.

The security guard led me to a small side room where, trembling with fear, I apologized deeply, close to tears. He said I have to go to a police station the next day, otherwise I will be arrested. I agreed.

I was absolutely terrified of what would happen. The next day, I voluntarily went to the police station, dressing as intelligently as possible, to present as “normal” a person and not a common thief.

The officers were compassionate. I was given a conditional precaution and I had to write a formal apology letter. It was told me that the incident would be forgotten if I didn’t steal something again. I also had to prove that I would seek professional help.

The emotions I felt afterwards were intense. I felt as if I had implored the world of all – of my husband (though he was so supporter), my children, everyone.

Discovery of truth

As I promised, I went to the doctor who sent me for spoken therapy. It took 18 weeks to pass the time when I was offered anti-depressive to help me cope. After an evaluation with a cognitive behavioral therapist, I was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorders.

My therapist explained that I have a compulsion for emotion and validation. The mind will always find the fastest route, and mine has been through shopping. It was a relief, but also a shock. Through therapy, we realized that the problem returned to being caught at home during blocking.

Today, over a year later, I am fine again and I feel that I have an open line of communication with friends and family if I feel like I’m not right. I have not stole another thing – I can not imagine to do again – but if I feel down, I will ask someone to come shopping with me, only if the need is overwhelming.

*Name has been changed to protect identity.

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